Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Starting stims on Friday!

I am not sure if I will be posting much over the weekend so I am going to comment as much as I for ICLW in between running cases today!

The phone never rang last night which means that I am officially suppressed and starting stims on Friday. The med teaching class went just fine yesterday, after a month on lupron I didn't expect it to be too hard. The PIO shot is scaring the hell out of me because of my arthritis in the lower back but I will worry about that when we come to it. I almost laughed when the nurse told me to ice it for ten mintues and I would be fine. Little do they know I had a hard time walking at work yesterday after they were done poking around to show Chris the right spot. It's going to be a freaking mess, but worth it if it works. That is going to be my motto, please remind me if I seem like it's getting to be too much in a few weeks.

We are heading home tomorrow for Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday because my whole Buffalo family came down to spend time with us. Thanksgiving all sort of fell apart after my papa died a long time ago. Then half the family came down and for the past three years no one has come down. It's just not the same without 25 wackos running around. They still all come down for the 4th of July so that has taken over my favorite holiday slot.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tick Tock

I have to wait until at least five o'clock! I still have small follies on both of my ovaries. We have to see what my E2 level is at before they can decide if we can go ahead with this cycle or not. It has been such a roller coaster so far that I think I am prepared for it to go either way. I find it completely shocking that over four weeks of lupron and three weeks of bcp did not suppress me. My body is always doing the opposite of what we want it to do, just like me I guess.

Monday, November 24, 2008

What a weekend!

I really needed this weekend. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun! Chris and I went to see Twilight on Friday night. It was great! Not as great as the book, but still great. Chris even liked it which I was happy about. He had me fill in the blanks the whole way home about things that he didn't quite understand about the movie.

On Saturday we went to our friends house for our first Thanksgiving dinner. We had an absolute blast. The archery competition started as soon as we got there. I was not strong enough to pull the compound bow all the way back so I was automatically out. Chris did really well with the bow but the competition ended early because it was so cold. Next came shooting the 22. I loved it! Last time I was there I shot a shot gun and a glock which scared the ever living loving shit out of me.

The food was great and I had way too much to drink. Chris helped me shoot up my lupron in the bathroom at 5 which was very nice of him. I sucked major ass at pool but what can you do. On the way home, we pulled over into a development and parked in someone's driveway to have sex. It was fantastic and hysterical all at the same time. Luckily, we did not get caught which was pleasant. I, of course got seriously sick when we eventually got home. Beer, vodka, wine, and scotch just don't mix. I should have known this but I was having so much fun that I really didn't care at the time.

It took me basically the whole day yesterday to recoup. I am hoping that will be my last drinking adventure for at least the next ten months.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A few crazy days

Things I have done in the past few days:
1. Fight with Chris over anything and everything
2. Refuse my lupron shot because of the headaches. Luckily Chris did it for me like he always does.
3. Emptied out my dirty laundry basket on the kitchen floor because none of my pants fit anymore and we were going out to the bar.
I am sure there are more but that is all I can think of right now.

Everyone keeps telling us that the suppression phase leading up to starting stims is the hardest part. I am hoping that is correct because it would mean that we hopefully only have one week left and since I am now allowed to take Advil I think I can deal with the headaches.

I am in love with the Twilight series. They are silly teenage romance novels and they suck me in. If you are looking for a good read, this isn't it. If you are in for a cheesy at time romance that will take you no time to read I suggest you pick it up. We are going tonight to see the movie. I am sure it will be a cheesefest also but I am so excited!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Suppressed!

Thank you IVF gods. I would say god in general but we all know how I feel about that and thank you buddha just doens't seem right either so we are thanking the IVF gods today. My u/s didn't look so hot but my bloodwork showed that I am suppressed so we are on next Tuesday for my meds teaching and one final u/s to make sure my lining is still nice and thin.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Truthfully

I don't think that I will be able to hold it together tomorrow if our IVF cycle is canceled. That will be two canceled IVF cycles in two months plus one canceled IUI earlier this year, one blighted ovum, and two "possible" c/ps all in the matter of a year. I just don't know if I will be able to do it to myself again next year when not a damn thing went right this year. I keep pretending like everything will be fine and I will just focus on losing some weight and then everything will come together next year. But really why would it? Nothing will change between now and then. I will still have endo, Chris' sperm will still suck and we will be in the same exact situation we are in now.

I am just warning you that tomorrow will not be pretty if we are canceled yet again.

Pre-Baseline is tomorrow

We find out tomorrow if we are going to move forward with this cycle or not. We still don't have our hopes up so I don't think it will be too bad tomorrow if they end up telling us that we are done for the year. Chris and I have decided that if this goes to shit that we will wait at least until next spring, maybe even next summer when we will be situated in our new house and have saved up enough money for another cycle.

We did find a house that we are in love with. It has been on the market for over a year and it was the original model home in the development so it has all of the bells and whistles that we would want which means that Chris and I would virtually have to do nothing to the house which would be a major change to our current house. The shit thing is that it is a short sale which means that we can not put in an offer that is contingent on us selling our home, but with the state of the economy plus with how long it has been for sale I am hoping it is still there in Jan/Feb when our house goes up. If it does sell before then I think we will look into having Ryan home built and we will just live with my MIL until it's ready.

I have a client so I must go and be bitched at. Yay!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

11/12/2008

There is still not much going on here. We still have to wait until next Tuesday to find out if we can move forward with this IVF or not. I am trying to be as optimistic as possible although my husband is starting to loose hope in our clinic. My drugs are all finally ordered as far as I know and should arrive by the end of the week so that is a step in the right direction! I am just keeping everything crossed that I don't ovulate again sometime next week. Then I would force the RE to look things over again and change my protocol. If six weeks of lupron hasn't suppressed me, then in my opinion it is time to try something else.

In other news my fibro is flaring big time. I am to the point today where I don't even want anyone touching me, at all. If this IVF goes bust, I am thinking for my mental health that we will break until it gets warm again so I can go back on some type of meds to manage my pain levels. Pregnancy would also work as fibro sometimes goes away when you get pregnant, just like it does if you have RA.

Other than that everything seems to be running smoothly. We have over half of our Christmas shopping done and we have decided that we are not buying each other anything this year since we are cruising a week later. We are going to the development that we like tomorrow with a realtor to see if we like any of the houses so I am very excited about that!

Monday, November 10, 2008

No protocol change if this does not work

The nurse called me back and they will not change my protocol next year if this does not work out. She said it will eventually work and that they think me not suppressing has to do with my age. Next Tuesday can't come quick enough.

Come the fuck on

I am going in next Tuesday morning for a monitoring appointment to see if I am going to ovulate again so we can just cancel now instead of making me do yet another week of lupron. They are worried because I should not have gotten my period this weekend so who the hell knows which way is up at this point. This is all starting to get old. I am hoping that if we have to cancel again that they will change my protocol next year to something different since lupron and bcp just don't seem to do it for me.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

My fricking period

I got my fricking period today! I have been on lupron for two weeks now. Is this ok, IVF wise? I am going to have to call Monday morning and see if everything is still going to be fine. We will see, I don't have my hopes up too high because who knows what in the hell my body is doing.

Here is the tmi part, my period is freaking nasty as anything. Dark brown, I bled through my damn pants while we were house hunting today. I just wasn't expecting it! Oh well, at least I don't wear expensive undies:)

Friday, November 7, 2008

11/07/2008

Not much is going on in Peachyland this week. We were off on Tuesday for Election day and then Chris and I took off yesterday. He has a cold and my fibromyalgia is acting up big time with all of this cool and rainy weather. We pretty much stayed bundled up under the covers all day and we are both feeling better today. I am hoping that his cold goes away soon, because he is the biggest baby whe he is sick!

We are going to go see Role Models tonight and then we are just going to relax this weekend. We are pretty busy from next weekend through December so we might as well enjoy it while we can.

I am so excited for our cruise! With all of the IF drugs and upset binging I have gained about 12 pounds since last summer. I realize that I am in no way heavy so I am not going to go there but I do need to buy summer clothes so I won't feel like I am squeezing into everything. My IVF cycle finishes only a week before we leave so I will hopefully be pregnant and bloated because of that, or it will fail and I will still be bloated from all of the stimming drugs and progesterone.

So, since I can already tell that I may be slightly emotional on the cruise(our due date also falls when we are away) I am doing my best to make sure that I have everything I need to look hot no matter what my exact size is that day. I bought new swimsuits today. You can get some fantastic clearance deals right about now. I bought four new bottoms for 4 bucks a piece and then I bought two new tankini tops on the lands end website. I also have been stocking up on cute dresses since the summer so I won't have to worry about wearing shorts around. It really sucks that the economy is so bad right now, but you can really find some good deals if you look around.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

New Schedule!

I received my new IVF schedule today. Almost all of my appointments are in Dover and I am the first appointment of the day. This actually works out better than I had for the first IVF try. The RE is not at all worried about over suppression looking at how my ovaries responded to the lowest dose of clomid combined with our suppression efforts this month.

I have a new tttc sister and we are on the same schedule now which I find exciting. After talking to the nurse today I am feeling so much better about everything. Three more weeks of lupron here I come!

IVF take one was canceled

Despite being on bcp for three weeks and lupron for two, I did not suppress. I freaking ovulated through all of that and my lining was not thin as I still have yet to get a period. As of right now, they are keeping me on lupron for another three and a half weeks and I will go back the last week of Nov for another baseline appointment to see if that worked. I am worried that I will over suppress this time and not even make it to the ER but I am trying my best to just follow the doctor's orders.

I am now waiting for the coordinator to call me back so I can schedule all of my appointments and to see if they are ever going to bother ordering my trigger shot and two extra boxes of lupron. I hope this all starts to turn around soon, I am trying to stay as neutral as possible. When I talk to people I act pessimistic, although I am really not. I am praying for a Christmas miracle.

Monday, November 3, 2008

What a great weekend!

Chris and I had such a nice and relaxing weekend! We went to my sister's last non-playoff home game of the year and they won! Her team is now regionally ranked which has not happened since she has been on the team. After the game we all went out to eat and I finally got to see her house. It is in the "hood" as she calls it, but the house itself is very nice.

After we left the "hood" we headed over to the Wachovia Center for the Coldplay concert. We tailgated for a bit in the parking lot. One interesting thing about where my sister lives is that they have liquor stores and they have beer stores. I have never even heard of this before, but it worked out to our advantage because the beer store had a fall beer that I like and can no longer find in our town. We bought a case of it, because that is all they sell and we were on our way. Anywho, we went inside just in time for the opening act to begin.

The opening act played for what seemed like forever and then Coldplay came on a half an hour later. They were fantastic. They stage set-up was awesome. The only odd thing was that they played the same song twice during the concert. I am not sure if that was on purpose or not. I would definitely go see another one of their concerts. I was so surprised at how much both of us enjoyed it. Generally when we go to concerts we see acts that just one of us wants to see, so this was great because we both had a blast.

Yesterday Chris went to help his friend finish off his roof and I made 15 body scrubs. When he got home we played Pure for the rest of the day. I just love atv/skiing video games.

The RE finally called me back this morning and of course they don't know what happened with the shot, blah blah blah. They are going to give me one that they have at the office and then when I finally get mine in I just have to return it. I have to remember to bring my box of Lupron tomorrow that they gave me in case mine didn't come in time. Are we seeing a pattern here?