Drumroll please...

Negative Beta! Shocker, right? She said that that pregnancy tests I took were probably faulty and that it was not a chemical pregnancy after all. I have to call the IVF coordinator this morning when I get a chance.

Still waiting

I am still waiting for them to call me back with my beta results. They will most likely be negative and then I will have to place a call to the IVF coordinator but who knows. I suppose stranger things have happened but I am not going to get my hopes up at all. But shit I wish we could just get this over with already:)

BFP, BFN, BFP....

I just need to stop peeing on things. The BFPs are so light and I know that this isn't going to work out. I just can't wait to get the beta over with tomorrow and then I will officially stop peeing on sticks.

Happier Topics

So I am not thrilled about the whole pregnant, not pregnant thing but who would be. I don't understand at all why this happened yet again. I am still waiting on a call back from the doctor to see what they want me to do. I am very happy that we are taking an extended break before trying IVF. IVF is just so final. If it doesn't work, you are screwed.

I had an absolutely fantastic time in Chincoteauge this weekend. We spent part of the time with our friends and part of the time just the two of us. It's a beautiful place and see the wild ponies was so fascinating. That is one more thing that we can cross of on our 1000 things to do before you die list. I have to go through it again soon to find some more local places for us to visit.

Today I am grateful for a lot of things. Let's start with the current economic crisis. I am so happy that Chris and I found our cheapo fixer upper four years ago. It's almost finished and our payments are still cheap becuase we did a fixed loan. We both have secure jobs and the only debt we have left are my school loans and the cars. All major positives. I have an awesome husband and puggers. I can't begin to understand other people's relationships because ours is so unique and fun. He really is the only person I feel 100% comfortable around on a constant basis. I might be the most infertile biotch on my block but I do have a lot of other things going for me. I am refusing to let this crapola screw with me.

#3 was not lucky

Faint BFP yesterday, BFN today. I go in for my beta on Wednesday but it looks like another chemical pregnancy. Some things just really aren't meant to be and since I have that mind frame I am ok or I have completely lost my mind and am in total denial.

10/02/2008

I can't get over the fact that it is October already! Oh my. We are leaving tomorrow for Chincoteague where we will be camping for two days. I am hoping it is a lot of fun. We are going with another family, but I already told them and Chris that we are going to do our own thing part of the time to make sure that we also have a good time. I don't think antiquing with a 2 year old and an infant is going to be the best idea ever:). There have been a few trips where we felt like we always had to go along with what the crowd was doing and it ended up sucking so I am going make sure this weekend is as fun as possible.

I am 8/9dpiui today. Trigger is out. I could fall asleep at my desk. I am going to puke my brains out. The heartburn is off the hook. The RE told me yesterday that I could shove the prometrium as far up my hooha as possible to see if that works. Um, yeah I don't think so. Then I will end up with the bladder issue again from the goo coming out. Since I don't have a progesterone problem to begin with and the fact that I took it for a week I have stopped taking it. If I am indeed pregnant and my progesterone is low I will start taking another form of it, but if it is fine then I am going to let it be. Hopefully I will find out in a day or two if this is all from the progesterone or not.

I have to get back to work since I am off again tomorrow!

Gag-a-rific

That's pretty much how I have been feeling the past 2 days. I am now 8 dpiui and I think I will test on Friday before we go away for the weekend because I think a lot of drinking will be involved during our camping trip. I just called the RE and asked them what they want me to do about the prometrium. I can't get that or the prenatal down for the life of me. I am just going to pick up flinstones on the way home and take a folic acid with it so I should be good on that front but I am not sure what they are going to say about the progesterone front. Time will tell.

That's all I have for the day. I am doing my best not to get my hopes up at all.