I swore last New Years Eve that this year would be better. It was not for the most part where our infertility was concerned. We started off with what was most likely my first cp. Gushing blood at my goddaughter's baptism is always a blast. Then I ended up pregnant again in May, but there was some sort of abnormality and it ended up being a blighted ovum. More positive pregnancy tests after my IUI only to have another cp. Then there was the hellish IVF process that ended in disaster. Looking back, 2007 was a peice of cake ttc wise compared to 2008.
There was a lot of good also. After the baptism Chris and I went to Niagra Falls for a few days. Looking back on those pictures I will have to say that out of all of our vacations it looked like we enjoyed ourselves the most there. I can't wait to go back and cruise around the wine country again and sneaking tons of wine back into the U.S.
My pain issues are for the most part totally under control. Elmiron was a complete savior where my bladder is concerned. I have not had a UTI in a long, long time. I can drink soda and have a beer without worrying what it is going to feel like going to the bathroom in the morning. I am not on anything for my fibromyalgia and for the most part I feel great, even in this cold weather. The only otc meds I have taken in the past few months was advil and that was for a massive headache, caused by the lovely fertility meds. My OCD issues are under control for the most part with the help of pro.zac. I am not a big one antidepressents but not checking the stove and other random things before I leave the house everyday is a huge plus. I actually used to drive down the road and turn around to make sure that all of the doors were locked. Wacky, I know.
So there has been good and bad this year and I will take them both. 2009 might not be perfect, but knowing that our ttc journey is over gives me some peace that I have not had in two years. Who knows what the year will bring but as far as I can tell I seem to be heading in the right direction. I will take no bio baby if it means that my pain issues are all under control. The good with the bad, right? I could not imagine having a baby and being back in the sort of pain I was in a year ago. I am not sure if that is how it works, no baby for Kate, but we can clear up her pain. Who knows.
girl, i didn't know you dealt with such physical pain in the past. Glad to hear that much of it is under control.
ReplyDeleteNYE was always a blast growing up, but then, I grew up in the tropics, where this holiday is spent with fireworks by the ocean in very hot temperatures. For the past 7 years, living in the US, NYE became a bore to me as well. So I totally understand your feelings. And, I recomend, that since you and DH are thinking of traveling, perhaps sometime plan one somewhere hot, just for fun.
wishing you a much better year in 2009.
I've done the same thing (turn around to check and see if the doors are locked)...what a pain.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are feeling better. I have a good feeling about 2009.
I hope that 2009 is a better year for you! My hearts aches over all that you have been through so I wish you all the best in the upcoming months!
ReplyDeleteBTW--I've tagged you in my blog if you are up for something fun :)